George Malley: This is good, Lace. I think you're a good cook.
Lace Pennamin: No, I'm not. I only make two things pretty well: pork
chops and, um, turkey.
George Malley: Hm. Which is this?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bonnie: George Malley! You learned the Portuguese language in 20
minutes?!
George Malley: Not all of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. Niedorf: All right, I'll start the questions, and I'll be timing
your responses, and we'll be recording. Any questions?
George Malley: What's your first name?
Dr. Niedorf: Uh, my first name is Bob.
[George reaches across the wide table to shake hands.]
George Malley: Shoot, Bob.
Dr. Bob Niedorf: Right. Name as many mammals as you can in 60 seconds.
Ready? Go.
[Starts stopwatch.]
George Malley: Hmm. 60 seconds. Well, how would you like that? How
about alphabetical? Aardvark, baboon, caribou, dolphin, eohippus, fox,
gorilla, hyena, ibex, jackal, kangaroo, lion, marmoset, Newfoundland,
ocelot, panda, rat, sloth, tiger, unicorn, varmint, whale, yak, zebra.
Now "varmint" is a stretch; so is "Newfoundland" (that's a dog breed);
"unicorn" is mythical; "eohippus" is prehistoric. But you weren't
being very specific, now, were you, Bob?
Dr. Bob Niedorf: [pauses, then stops watch and laughs] Well! Ahh,
I'll, uh-- I'll try to be more specific. You ready for the next one?
George Malley: Shoot.
Dr. Bob Niedorf: Answer as quickly as you can... how old is a person
born in 1928?
[starts stopwatch]
George Malley: Man or a woman?
Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch and pauses] Why?
George Malley: Specifics, Bob.
Dr. Bob Niedorf: Okay, one more time. How old is a MAN born in 1928?
[starts stopwatch]
George Malley: Still alive?
Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops watch, pauses, nods] If a man is born in 1928,
and he's still alive, how old is he?
[starts stopwatch]
George Malley: What month?
Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch] If a man was born October 3rd, 1928,
and he's still alive, how old is he?
[starts stopwatch]
George Malley: What time?
Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch] 10 o'clock... PM!
[starts stopwatch]
George Malley: Where?
Dr. Bob Niedorf: [stops stopwatch; now impatient] Anywhere!
George Malley: Well, let's get specific, Bob! I mean, if the guy's
still alive, born in California, October 3rd, 1928, 10 PM, he's 67
years, 9 months, 22 days, 14 hours, and... [takes Bob's hand to see
his wristwatch] ...and 12 minutes. If he was born in New York, he's 3
hours older, now isn't he?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Doc: Let's see, uh... George... George... there's a tumor in your
brain, that's spread out like a hand, threads of it, you know,
everywhere. But instead of dysfunction -- now here's the mystery,
George. Instead of destroying brain function, so far it's been
stimulating it. We can't understand that. You have more area of active
brain use than anybody ever tested -- ever -- because of those
tentacles. I mean, we've seen tumors like this before, it's called
astrocytoma. And it explains, uh, the dizziness, and... the illusion
of light. But the way it's in there, waking up areas of the brain,
it's a... big mystery. So...
George Malley: And it's killing me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

George Malley: Now, uh... he didn't say how long.
Lace Pennamin: Days, or weeks... they don't, they don't know.
George Malley: I'm so sorry, Lace. I know how you hate surprises.
Lace Pennamin: I tried so hard not to love you.
George Malley: How'd you make out?
Lace Pennamin: Terrible. [they chuckle]
George Malley: Hey, would you, uh, love me the rest of my life?
Lace Pennamin: No. I'm gonna love you for the rest of mine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lace Pennamin: Are you expecting to get lucky?
George Malley: Naah... just hoping.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*